Let Go

         I was in the midst of not knowing what to do on the rest of my days without you. These feelings of guilt, anger, and sadness had built up in me so well.

         As I walk down the stairs, I looked back, but unable to find you. I was waiting for someone to wake me up, but, you know, the one I expected to could not wake me up any more. My first few days without you is hard, even though I got over it pretty soon. It seems like I lost everything. I don't really have anyone to care for as much as I cared for you. And your death, it left me with even more unproductive days.

        And on that night, mom said something which really soothed me. We were talking about things regarding your death, and stuff like that. And she mentioned the saying from a pastor she heard in the radio earlier that morning. "Before we are gone from this world, we would have to 'finish' our job". Mom was referring to the 'psycho', I know. But out of a sudden I felt lighter in my heart. I am no longer sad. I feel like I can let you go sincerely. You died the way you had sinned. Well, that's my thought.

         Now you are in heaven I convinced myself. And I truly believe it. Now that you had no more sins.